Egypt: Let's try this again.

So as I embarked on my third voyage into the Middle East, our group got to make a trip through Egypt. This was my second time in the land of the pharos and I have to say, it was a much different experience this time. As such, I am making a list of the three most important things to keep in mind for anyone who decides to visit Egypt:

1. Don't go in July.

2. Don't go in July.

3. Don't go in July.

In my two visits to Egypt, the differences were like night and day. The first time I went in (you guessed it) July. This time, our group went through at the beginning of May. Although it is outside of my personal experience, in addition to the aforementioned advice, I would suggest avoiding the trip in June or August, either. It will be HOT HOT HOT. Especially in Luxor. Last time I was in Egypt, it was so hot, that people stopped taking pictures of the historical sites, and started photographing the steady stream of sweat pouring off of my nose because they were literally more amazed by my perspiration than by the ancient monumental architecture.
I was amazed at how nice the weather was there in May. But if you think I'm just a wuss and you can handle the heat, think again. I'm not just talking about heat here. The heat effects a lot of other things too. My students on this trip all thought I was a dirty liar after I had told them all of my horror stories about death marches through gauntlets of starving trinket salesmen who attach themselves to tourists like barnacles on sinking ships, and all they got were more like very tenacious post-it notes. Apparently, the tourist industry in Egypt becomes exceedingly desperate in the hotter months and if you want to be rid of the aforementioned "barnacles" you have to up the ante from "no, really, I'm not interested" to "Florgen zen fliggen zogen?" That's a language I made up last time I was in Egypt called "schwiedergugen."
Anyway, go sometime in the spring or the fall. It's lovely that time of year.