The Greater Salt Lake

We spend the day today hanging out at the dead sea, and let me tell you, good times at the dead sea. This is the greatest tourist concept of all time. "Why lie on the beach when you can lie on the ocean?" Seriously, it's boyant enough that you could probably take a nap on your back in the water and not have any problems. If that weren't enough of an attraction, anyone who has had the unfortunate experience of passing the very annoying dead sea kiosk in any provo mall knows that it has very desirable exfoliating properties. This made me wonder as we were approaching the water: so people have been bathing in the dead sea for thousands of years right? I can't imagine how much human "exfoliation" is in that water. Theres probably plenty of "dead sea skin" that I bathed in there. Of course, the reason for all of this exfoliation is the fact that the water is approximately 30% salt. My roommate John found this out personally when he tried to exfoliate his eyes. It's advisable to keep your face FAR from the water. The most popular method of exfoliation is to smear the mud nearest to the shore, which is roughly the appearance, consistancy, and smell of sewage, all over your body. Then you wash it off in the water. You are left so silky smooth that you leave the water thinking that the dead sea is actually the world's largest body of oil.


We noted the ease at which one could move about in the water. No effort at all is required to stay afloat so all you have to do is paddle a little and your moving right along. This is probably why there are no lifeguards. You would have to be a complete idiot to drown in the dead sea. We even jested that if an army wanted to attack Israel on the opposide side of the sea, all they would have to do is get their weapons and drift luxuriously to the other side. We quickly learned, however that this is NOT a plausible, nor comical idea. I and my roommate matt were drying off on the shore while our other 3 roomates decided to go out for a swim. They got further and further out, and we started wondering if they were really going to try to swim to palestine. Now, in any other place in the world, when you get a little far out, a lifeguard gets out his megaphone and tells you to come back, but in the absence of lifeguards the most sensible alternative of course is Apache helicopters. I know. This thing swooped down at about 20 feet above their heads, and I totally thought that it was going to blow them right out of the water. They obviously thought so too, because the turned right over and paddled for shore like it was going out of style, no longer worried about getting salty water in their eyes. Funny how priorities switch around so quickly. So if your interested in a nice day on a relaxing beach, exfoliating, or advanced military tactics, I suggest the Dead Sea.